From Stand-Up to Stand-In: Frank King's Journey from Comedy to Suicide Prevention Advocacy
Jun 17, 2024Season 3Episode 78
Deb
What happens when a comedian's path takes an unexpected turn into the realm of mental health advocacy? Frank King, a renowned comedian with over two decades of experience, found himself navigating this profound journey. From writing jokes for Jay Leno to sharing the stage with legends like Jeff Foxworthy and Adam Sandler, Frank's career took a pivotal shift when personal battles with depression and suicidality emerged. With humor and heartfelt stories, Frank recounts his transition from comedy to becoming a certified suicide prevention speaker, using his talents to address the serious topics of mental health with a unique blend of levity and sincerity.
Frank's story is one of resilience and hope. He opens up about his experiences with financial loss during the recession, leading to a near-suicide attempt, and how this dark period became a turning point in his life. Highlighting the kindness and humility of Jay Leno during challenging times, Frank shares anecdotes that reveal character and resilience. His mission now is to save lives through open dialogue about depression and suicide, using personal narratives to connect with his audience and foster a sense of understanding. Frank emphasizes the therapeutic value of sharing stories, encouraging others to find strength in vulnerability.
In this episode, we also delve into practical approaches to recognizing and responding to signs of depression and suicidal thoughts. Frank provides invaluable insights on active listening, identifying key signs, and offering meaningful support to those struggling. Learn how to ask direct questions and leverage personal reasons to live to help someone stay safe. This compelling conversation intertwines humor with profound life-saving messages, highlighting the power of resilience and the impact of personal storytelling in fostering connection and mental health awareness. Don't miss this insightful episode that combines laughter with essential knowledge on mental health.
Innovative SimSolutions. Your turnkey solution provider for medical simulation programs, sim centers & faculty design.
What happens when a comedian's path takes an unexpected turn into the realm of mental health advocacy? Frank King, a renowned comedian with over two decades of experience, found himself navigating this profound journey. From writing jokes for Jay Leno to sharing the stage with legends like Jeff Foxworthy and Adam Sandler, Frank's career took a pivotal shift when personal battles with depression and suicidality emerged. With humor and heartfelt stories, Frank recounts his transition from comedy to becoming a certified suicide prevention speaker, using his talents to address the serious topics of mental health with a unique blend of levity and sincerity.
Frank's story is one of resilience and hope. He opens up about his experiences with financial loss during the recession, leading to a near-suicide attempt, and how this dark period became a turning point in his life. Highlighting the kindness and humility of Jay Leno during challenging times, Frank shares anecdotes that reveal character and resilience. His mission now is to save lives through open dialogue about depression and suicide, using personal narratives to connect with his audience and foster a sense of understanding. Frank emphasizes the therapeutic value of sharing stories, encouraging others to find strength in vulnerability.
In this episode, we also delve into practical approaches to recognizing and responding to signs of depression and suicidal thoughts. Frank provides invaluable insights on active listening, identifying key signs, and offering meaningful support to those struggling. Learn how to ask direct questions and leverage personal reasons to live to help someone stay safe. This compelling conversation intertwines humor with profound life-saving messages, highlighting the power of resilience and the impact of personal storytelling in fostering connection and mental health awareness. Don't miss this insightful episode that combines laughter with essential knowledge on mental health.
Innovative SimSolutions. Your turnkey solution provider for medical simulation programs, sim centers & faculty design.
Disclaimer/ Innovative Sim Solutions/Intro:
The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of anyone at Innovative Sim Solutions or our sponsors. This week's podcast is sponsored by Innovative Sim Solutions. Are you interested in the journey of simulation accreditation? Do you plan to design a new simulation center or expand your existing center? What about taking your program to the next level? Give Deb Tauber from Innovative Sim Solutions a call to support you in all your simulation needs. With years of experience, deb can coach your team to make your simulation dreams become reality. Learn more at www. innovativesimsolutions. com or just reach out to Deb Contact today. Welcome to The Sim Cafe, a podcast produced by the team at Innovative Sim Solutions, edited by Shelly House r. Joi n ou r host Deb Tauber an d o r h, Deb Tauber, and co-host Jerrod Jeffries as they sit down with subject matter experts from across the globe to reimagine clinical education and the use of simulation.
Deb Tauber:
Welcome to another episode of The Sim Cafe, and today we are very fortunate to have The King, who is a suicide prevention speaker. T He's written for the Tonight Show for 20 years and been a speaker and comedian for 38. He shared the stage with comedians Jeff Foxworthy, Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld, Ken Young, E z llen DeGeneres and to name a few. His speaking on suicide prevention is informed by his lifetime battle with depression and suicidality. He's turned that long, dark journey of the soul into 12 TEDx talks, sharing his life-saving insights with colleagues, corporations and associations. On top of that, he survived two aortic valve replacements, a bypass, a heart attack corporations, losing a puppet on the original star search, and has lived to joke about it all. So with, that, Frank, why don't you say hello to our listeners?
Frank King:
Hey, and that was losing to a puppet on the original star search. oh, losing.
Deb Tauber:
to a puppet, not losing a puppet, perfect no, yeah, I didn't lose a puppet. I lost to a puppet, which is actually worse yeah, how does a comedian speak on suicide like what? What makes that funny?
Frank King:
Well, no jokes, of course. Nothing to joke about. Uh, personal funny anecdotes. I was a comedian for many years. Started the day after Christmas 1985. Before Christmas I said to my girlfriend now my wife of 37 years I'm going on the road to be a stand-up comedian. Do you want to come along for the ride? Figuring she'd go. Oh, hell, no, she goes, yeah. So we gave up our apartment, our jobs, jumped into my tiny Dodge Colt and we were on the road together, 2,629 nights in a row, nonstop, no home, just comedy club to comedy club.
Frank King:
Then, 93 to 95, did some radio in my old hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina, when I got fired, as most people. Well, there are two kinds of people in radio Deb, people who've been fired, people who are going to be fired. So my manager said to me after he fired me and we're still friends you could go back on the road. Well, the road was disappearing. Comedy clubs were closing faster than they were opening. So my act had always been very clean. So I thought I could do corporate comedy. So I went from a club comic to a corporate comic. People ask me occasionally what's the difference between a club comic and a corporate comic? About $5,000 a night plus travel. Some of my purist comedian friends said you sold out, you went corporate. I said yes, I sold out. I'm a prostitute, but I am a high priced prostitute. I rode that bus until 2000,. End of 2007. I did 96 corporate comedy gigs in 2007. At the end of the year I was exhausted, but I grossed over $200,000 telling jokes and nobody really knows who I am.
Frank King:
Then the recession hit and speaker bookings dropped off 80% overnight and we lost everything in a chapter seven bankruptcy. And that's when I learned what the barrel of my gun tasted like. Literally Spoiler alert, I did not pull the trigger. I had a friend come up at a keynote recently. He'd never heard me say I did not pull the trigger and he said, and I quote hey man, how come you didn't pull the trigger? I go hey man, could you try to sound slightly less disappointed? That's where the humor is in the.
Frank King:
So in 2012, as speaking began to return, meeting planners speaker bureau said to me we love you, we just cannot pay you $5,000 anymore. Frank, just to be funny, you got to teach us something and I'd always wanted to make a difference, deb. I always wanted to make a living and a difference. I just had no idea what I had to teach anybody. So a friend of mine, comedian speaker Judy Carter, wrote a book called the Message of you Turning your Life into a Money-Making Speaking Career. She sent me the audio book copy. She said, frank, listen to this, you'll figure it out.
Frank King:
I went into it thinking I got nothing. Halfway through I thought, oh my God, I do have something to talk about. Given my near suicide, the fact that I live with two mental illnesses, the fact that there are more nuts in my family than in a squirrel turd, I thought I could keynote on suicide prevention if I got some training. So I got several certifications. Now the second hurdle Deb. I've been a comic for two and a half decades. Who is going to believe I could do anything serious, even with humor? So that's when I did my first TEDx talk, starting the conversation on suicide. And then two other TEDx events called and said do you have any more mental health topics to talk about? Oh, yes. So that's how I picked up number two and number three, and then I've actually been chosen 14 times, but the other two I was booked on a paid speaking engagement so I could not accept the invitation. I've got number 13 coming up in November. So and each one builds the brand as the mental health comedian, because each one has same backstory, origin story, but different aspect of mental health, mental illness, whatever. And so I began keynoting on suicide prevention at the.
Frank King:
At that point, I still had other keynotes a networking keynote, a cardiac comedy keynote but January 1st 2018, I decided I was going to finally pick a lane. I was going to simply be a suicide prevention speaker full stop, as I believe that to make the best living speaking, you should pick a lane. You should become the thought leader, expert, not the everything to everybody. And then I picked half a dozen occupations with super high rates of suicide here in the US. That's the only folks I market to is those groups. That's my formula you figure out what one problem you want to solve. You figure out who's got that problem willing to pay you. So that's what I did I began speaking to those marketing, to those six groups.
Deb Tauber:
What are the six groups?
Frank King:
It's construction leads the league league. A thousand people die by accident construction every year.
Frank King:
Five thousand die by suicide wow you're five times more likely to jump off the building than fall off. So it's a construction agriculture attorneys, veterinarians, physicians and dentists, and there's, you know, there's obviously many. There's a top 10 uh, foresters, fishermen. I you know why. Foresters agriculture kind of a solo business. Oftentimes you're subject to weather, finances, tariffs, um commodity prices. You know it's a very I. I admire anybody who can farm make a living because it's such an iffy business.
Frank King:
Wow, did you go to school to start comedy? No, I was born funny. People ask me that. Were you born funny? Yes, as a matter of fact, an amusing thing happened on the way down the birth canal. My mom's funny, my sister's funny, my dad was funny. I told my first joke in fourth grade, nine years old. The kids laughed. The teacher was hysterical, so much so she had to excuse herself to go to the teacher's lounge. Years later I saw her at the Winn-Dixie grocery store. I said, ms Dark, why did you excuse yourself to go to the teacher's lounge? She said, frank, that was the funniest thing a child had ever said to me before or since. I was afraid I was laughing so hard I'd break your heart because you would misinterpret my laughter.
Frank King:
Then she said what do you do for a living? I said stand-up comedy.
Frank King:
She goes duh In high school they had a talent show. I took three years of drama in high school. I wanted to be an actor but I never got a speaking part three years. So when the talent show popped up, I thought you know what, if I do stand up, I could write, direct, produce and star in my own little show every night. So I was first person ever to do stand up at that talent show and I won. Of course I beat the accordion player and the folk dancers. Not a real tough victory, but still.
Frank King:
I told my mama I'm going to be a comedian. She goes no, son, you're going to college first. I don't care what you do when you get done, you can be a goat herder for all I care, but you will be a goat herder with a college degree. So I went to UNC, chapel Hill, picked up a couple of college degrees BABS and then got a job in Raleigh working for an insurance company and conveniently they transferred me to San Diego. San Diego has a branch of the world-famous comedy store, the one up on Sunset still there to this day in the same spot. And so first five minutes on stage. Middle of my five minutes I heard a voice inside my head you're home.
Frank King:
Next thought was I'm going to do this for a living. I had no idea how, thank goodness. I threatened to write a keynote call. What could you do if you didn't know no better, because I had no idea how hard it was to make a full-time living doing stand-up. But, like I said, we hit the road. Didn't plan on being on the road for seven years nonstop, but it was a comedy boom. Comedy clubs were springing up like mushrooms, so it was a great time to be on the road doing stand-up, and my wife along for the ride. We had to work with some fascinating people. I never met a stupid comic or a dumb comic. I did meet several with no common sense, however, but generally very bright.
Deb Tauber:
Well, I think people without common sense are pretty common.
Frank King:
Yeah, I mean these guys couldn't bounce the checkbook back then, but just brutally funny.
Deb Tauber:
Yeah, now tell us a little bit about your work with Jay Leno, okay.
Frank King:
Yes, he was a permanent guest host of the Tonight Show, Got that gig right about the time I went on the road and he was filling in for Johnny and Johnny would decide on a Friday. He wasn't going to work the next week. Because if you're Johnny Carson you can say that that meant Jay had four nights, because Monday night was best of Carson a rerun. Tuesday through Friday. Jay had four nights, 18 jokes per night, monologue, and he had to pretty much cobble them together over the weekend. So he started hiring road comics. We were called fax writers. I used to travel with a fax machine. We were faxing jokes and so when johnny said he was taking the week off, jay sent word out. Hey, I need jokes. And so I'd fax in over the weekend maybe two, three dozen jokes. And then when Jay got the job for real, then he let most of the contract labor go, but he kept some of us on and we stayed writing. I kept writing for him until he left for CNBC.
Deb Tauber:
Did you enjoy that working for him?
Frank King:
Yes, it's all on spec. If he uses a joke, he pays you, if he doesn't, he doesn't. But genuinely a nice guy. Joke he pays you. If he doesn't, he doesn't, but genuinely a nice guy. When I had my first open heart surgery and got out of cardiac ICU and into a regular room, first phone call was jay, hey heard you had heart surgery. Good thing you didn't have in, la, they take it out and leave it out. So yeah, he's an amazing, amazing memory. Yeah, he prodigious memory. He got a gig once as a spokesperson for Doritos and famously got a million dollar paycheck. Well, my college agent quite a few decades earlier was in a comedy team that played colleges and his partner broke his leg and they had a college book near Boston. And so Joey, my agent, called up Jay and said look, we got this college book. It's near Boston, not far. You know my partner's got a broken leg. We can't make it, would you do it? And it's like a beautiful spring weekend, jay said yeah.
Frank King:
I took the motorcycle down and did it. So Jay went down and did it, came back, joey called him and you know the next day how'd it go, jay? Eh, well, you know he goes. Well, did you get paid? Eh, I really couldn't take the check. There were only eight kids. And Joey goes you're not being paid by the head, you're being paid to show up. You didn't take the check? Nah, I couldn't cash the check, nah. So now fast forward two and a half, three decades. Jay gets the Doritos gig for a million bucks. Joey gets an envelope in the mail from Jay and inside the envelope is a photocopy of the million dollar check from Doritos and a post-it note hey, joey, I cashed this one, wow.
Frank King:
Wow yeah really just an amazing memory, uh, and amazing work at it. He went to community college, got his aa and auto mechanics and he showed up at the rolls royce dealership looking for a job in Boston or whatever, wherever the rolls royce dealership was nearby. And the general manager chuckles said uh, son, I I admire your husband, but it's rolls royce. I mean, there's a process you go to England, you spend a year there in the rolls royce factory. You know training, that's how you become a rolls royce mechanic. So jay a bit crestfallen. But on his way out he notices all the mechanics are wearing the same blue overalls. So he went to the uniform store, got a pair of the overalls, showed up the next morning with a lunch box and his overalls. They pull open the gates to the uniform store. Got a pair of the overalls, showed up the next morning with a lunchbox and his overalls. They pull open the gates to the service area.
Frank King:
He walks in with everybody else and he hung around a little bit and then he started walking down the line of service bays and when he got to one where there was somebody under the hood of a Rolls Royce cussing up a storm, obviously having problems, he walks in and he goes. He sent me over to help you. Thank god I could use the help. So four hours later it's lunchtime and jay said he heard the manager of the dealership and the service manager coming across the parking lot and they were saying this you hired him. No, I didn't hire him. You hired him, I didn't hire him. The guy he was under the hood with pulls his head out from under the hood and goes. I don't care who hires him, the kid's good, give him a job. That's how he got to be a role of voice mechanic without having to go to England wow, that's a cool story yeah no!
Deb Tauber:
Great work epic yeah, yeah, that's a cool story. How did you go from comedian to speaker? How did you?
Frank King:
I did that with you know, when I read Judy's book and realized that I did have something to teach people, and not just anything to teach people, but something I was passionate about. My goal is to save a life a day. And people ask me, you know, when you tell your stories on stage, when I relive those stories gun in my mouth my grandmother's suicide of those stories, gun in my mouth my grandmother's suicide, my great aunt's suicide does it trigger you? I said, no, you got it wrong. They're very therapeutic because what I'm doing is I'm giving. Being vulnerable, which I think is a speaker superpower, gives people in the audience permission to give voice to their feelings and experiences surrounding depression, suicide, whatever. And I know this because I always set aside an extra 30, 45 minutes after I'm done to take individual questions. When I do the general Q&A, I said, look, we're going to do some general Q&A and when we get done, if you have a question you want to ask or a story you want to tell and you don't want to do it in front of everybody, I'll hang out another 30, 45 minutes and take them individually. Sometimes it's two people, sometimes it's 10. And they mostly start like this Frank, I've never told anybody this. Really, I get that a lot, probably the most dramatic.
Frank King:
I was speaking on a construction site in Cincinnati and there are a half dozen guys lined up, mostly men, and the last one was a nice young African-American gentleman, probably mid twenties. He's crying so hard he can't speak, and so I waited and I said what's up, he goes. Well, I haven't slept in two days. I work on the fifth floor of this building. I think about jumping off every day. I said why is that? He said because I've lost three people close to me in the last year to violence, including my daughter who died in my arms. I tossed that grenade in your lap after they pulled the pin.
Frank King:
So the HR guy who had hired me he's an HR and meeting planner. He was standing not far away and I waved him over and I said you need to go grab the EAP Employee Assistance Program binder, find the closest mental health facility and take this nice gentleman by the hand and take him there right now because he's circling the drain. And a couple of months later I had occasion to call the media planner, back, the HR guy, and I'm terrified to ask. Finally I got up my courage and I said what happened to that nice black gentleman Frank. He was evaluated, medicated. He's back on the job. That keeps me doing it. I feel like George Bailey, and it's a wonderful life. I've been shown what these people's lives might be like. If I weren't there simply to do that kind of thing and if I kill myself, I would theoretically be able to take some of those people with me who never had a chance to hear me speak, and you know, right, right now.
Deb Tauber:
How did you tell us a little bit about the Ted talks? How was the first one? Were you nervous?
Frank King:
I was. Yeah, I was a flop sweat. I thought flop sweat was a urban legend. I, I, you know how could your armpits turn on? Oh my god, you know, just all of a sudden, just like raining under there.
Frank King:
I've done my comedy act so many times ten thousand times probably. It's a little different each time because I talk to the audience, but the jokes are roughly the same, may have a new one here and there, but this is an entirely new 18 minute presentation. So I just you don't have to memorize the text, but you have to memorize the outline. And I didn't know, learned since that it's okay to stop if you get lost Because it's video. You can digitally edit out that gap. They tell you stop, gather your thoughts back up a sentence, start again. So I didn't know that and so I wanted to make sure it came out just right.
Frank King:
I think the most nervous I ever am is when I'm speaking in a situation like that. There's a TEDx competitor called Speak Event and I did it April 20th this year and I wasn't mentally nervous, but I got on stage and I realized the bottom half of my body, my knees were shaking and fortunately I was wearing kind of loose jeans. I'm hoping, dear God, I hope nobody can see that From the waist up I was confident. From the waist down I was like, wow, it's strange. But you know and I've done it thousands of times, I don't know why in that situation it was only six to 10 minutes. But again, it was a new talk, one I'd never done. The theme was resilience and my mother is the most resilient person I've ever known and the talk is called Gay in my DNA and I'd never gotten a chance to do that.
Frank King:
So I took the opportunity, because the story involves my mom and dad were both gay, met in high school, crazy about one another, wanted to have a family and this is North Carolina in the 40s. Nobody came screaming out of the closet. I don't think anybody comes screaming out of the closet now, but back then, you know. So they decided well, get married, we'll adopt, and no infants available, so no IVF. You know it's the 40s, no turkey baster. Nobody figured that out yet. So they had to do it the old fashioned way.
Frank King:
But remember, they're both gay and I told the audience I think I'm about 1% gay because I'm straight, my sister's straight, but I'm 1% gay. I love tasteful decorations. I'm crazy about Judy Garland. I have the amazing ability to accessorize. So 1%. The trick for me is never get 99% drunk. My mother got pregnant, carried it to term and shortly after birth it passed away. A year later got pregnant again, carried it to term. Shortly after birth it too passed away, where she found the courage to try a third time when I was born. A fourth time my sister was born. I have no idea and I said to the audience. So if you'll wonder why I'm still here, it's because my mother was so brave and worked so hard to bring me here. I have to be at least as brave and work at least as hard to stay here until my appointed time.
Deb Tauber:
Yeah, yeah. Why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about your mental illness?
Frank King:
I'm crazy as an outhouse rat, as they say down south. I have two mental illnesses. One is major depressive disorder and garden variety depression. I have a cycle. It happens every now and then it's three days. I can feel gravity being turned up. I'm going down the first day, flattened out, the second, come back up the third. Been through so many times. I used to fight it, but you know I can't win. I can lose and kill myself. I so I just I try to um take what's called an.
Frank King:
I created this, an Aikido approach. Aikido is a martial art where you blend with the energy of your partner or your opponent. Rather than immediately force, you step offline and let it go by. So I think of it as a wave and riding a surfboard. I crawl up on my surfboard, I catch the wave and I go with it rather than fight against it, knowing that in three days you know the wave will break and I'll be back to flying level. So that's garden variety and no real situational cause. I've been most depressed at some of the best times in my life. It's just a cycle.
Frank King:
The other one is chronic suicidal ideation. Chronic suicidal ideation or chronic suicidality it's also called. We talked about it offline that it's not in the diagnostic and statistical manual in five with all the big book of psychological disorders. Yet Hopefully it'll be in six. But what it means is for people like me, people in my tribe, the option of suicide is always on the menu as a solution for problems large and small. And I tell the audience when I say small my car broke down a couple of years ago.
Frank King:
I had three thoughts, unbid One, get it fixed. Two buy a new one. Three, I could just kill myself. That's absurd, I know, but that's the way my brain works. And the benefit of telling that story every time I speak. I think I told you offline that I spoke at a Toastmasters district meeting two weeks ago and I was speaking to the meeting planner about getting a copy of the video and she goes by the way, frank, two people came up to me after you left and said I have that. I did not know it had a name. I thought I was just some kind of freak and completely alone. I've had people come up again crying so hard they can't speak when they realize they're in fact not alone. So that's the ROI.
Deb Tauber:
And what would you tell our listeners if they know someone who's suicidal, or if they themselves are suicidal? What should they do If they're ?
Frank King:
I would tell anyone I know, love and trust, what I'm going through so they can be there for you, tell them you're dealing with this and give them an idea what they can do to help. Sometimes, just listening, people say what do I say? Don't say anything. Just listen, actively listen, and if you're a millennial, don't look at your watch.
Disclaimer/ Innovative Sim Solutions/Intro:
got an appointment.
Frank King:
Listen, can we circle back? Yeah, if you say suspect someone is depressed, how would you know depressed? How would you know? Well, three top signs for me. Certainly not an exhaustive list, but three top signs. They eat too much or they can't eat. They sleep too much, they can't sleep. They have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, so often late for work or school, but tend to rally in the afternoon like an entirely different person. And here's one you can observe visually Normally they're pretty well put together and several days, you know, hair kind of dirty, clothes not so clean. It may be because they're having trouble getting out of bed simply to take a shower, run a little watch.
Frank King:
So the question comes up what do you say to somebody you think is depressed or who tells you they're depressed? Here's what you don't say Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, turn that frown upside down my personal favorite. Have you tried fish oil? At which point I go from suicidal to homicidal. Yeah, it's, I mean they mean. Well, what you should say is look, I'm here for you and I mean it. I know you're not lazy or crazy or self-absorbed. I know that depression is in fact a mental illness. Here's the good news. With time and treatment, things will get better. I will take the time, I will help you get the treatment.
Frank King:
And here's the hard part. You got to ask them flat out are you having thoughts of suicide? Just like that. There's an old urban legend you should never mention suicide in front of somebody who's depressed because it might give them the idea, oh yeah, like it never crossed my mind. In fact, mentioning it out loud reduces the odds that they will end their lives. So it's actually the opposite. But let's say you suspect they're suicidal and I say go with your guts. If somebody tells you you think they're about to take their life, go with that.
Frank King:
And what signs do you look for? Well, they talk frequently about death and dying. You catch them Googling death, dying or how to die by suicide online. They are getting their affairs in order, especially if they're giving away prized possessions, because they want to make sure the possessions go to the people they want them to go to when they're gone. They're gathering the means to die by suicide, whether it's stockpiling medication or blowing a firearm.
Frank King:
And here's a counterintuitive one that's very dangerous. I think They've been depressed for a long time now. They're happy. Happy, but for no apparent reason. But you're happy because they're happy.
Frank King:
The problem is they may be happy because they know they've decided time, place and method and they know the pain is coming to an end. What a lot of people don't realize is, in the majority of cases people don't want to die when they attempt suicide. Generally I didn't want to die, I just wanted to end the pain. Now there are situations where somebody doesn't want to end their life for whatever reason, but mostly they just want to end the pain. Now there are situations where you know somebody doesn't want to end their life for whatever reason, but mostly they just want to end the pain. So what do you say? Well, you say, if they say I'm having thoughts of suicide, you say do you have a plan? Do you have a plan? And if they have a plan, what is your plan? And if it's detailed time, place and method, you need to get them, ideally get them to a mental health facility just for evaluation. You know, worst case, get them on the phone to the new three-digit suicide lifeline or text line 988.
Deb Tauber:
988.
Frank King:
988. Now, let's say they have a plan, but it's not really detailed. What would you do? Well, I couldn't find anything in the literature about that situation, so I decided what I would do is I would say, okay, tell me, are you going to kill yourself? And if they said no, I would say, okay, tell me, why not Make them give voice to whatever is keeping them here, because something is keeping them here, otherwise you wouldn't be having this conversation. It could be kids, could be pets, family, spouse, religion, something, and then leverage that to keep them alive for another day. So that's the protocol.
Deb Tauber:
Thank you, thank you. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your courses that you have coming up online?
Frank King:
Oh boy, yes. A gentleman owns a marketing company in Casablanca in Morocco found me on LinkedIn. I got a big footprint on LinkedIn, saw my 12 TED Talks, did a little research and realized there's not a comprehensive soup to nuts online TEDx course. So he contacted me, said we'd like to put one together for you, frank, and take 20% for every one we sell, because you got the market to yourself. So we created that. And then he had an idea. He said you know, people don't want a TEDx talk, but they also want to make money speaking. So he came up with something called the Six Figure Speaker. So we came up with just recently a program that combines landing a TEDx and making money speaking, and our big bold promise is you'll get a TEDx and making money speaking. And our big bold promise is you'll get a TEDx in 90 days and make $50,000 speaking in six months, or your money back plus $5,000. So you take a risk out of it. Now. They've got to work hard, they've got to complete the course, they've got to apply to X number of TEDx talks a week and apply to X number of conventions to speak a week. But if they do all that and it still doesn't happen, they get their money back. Ten thousand dollars and five thousand dollars cash. So it's, it's big, bold, hopefully irresistible, and I guess, because I've been speaking, speaking, speaking since 2012,. What's that? 12 years and doing, you know, performing for 37 years, 38 years and I've got 12 TEDx talks. So I mean, you know, that's kind of proof of concept. And my clients, anybody who comes to see me once a week for an hour because I do my individual coaching an hour a week on Zoom, anybody who comes two, three times a month, fills out three to six TEDx applications, has gotten a TEDx 100% up. If you don't come, I can't help you. Yeah, so that's what we.
Frank King:
I was really missing that marketing piece. I was doing, okay, but I was really missing. You know I'm 67. I've done, okay, but I was really missing. You know I'm 67. I didn't. I wasn't born with an iPhone or an iPad in my hand Like the kid. The guy's 22 years old, I mean, he grew up. My philosophy, deb, is this there's an old expression you should have a young doctor and an old lawyer. Young doctor knows all the new stuff. Old lawyer knows the courthouse, you know. So I think you should have a a young social media marketer and an old attorney.
Deb Tauber:
Yep, I would agree with that.
Frank King:
Yeah, he's, he's. You know, I, I, I marvel, and he has difficulty occasionally at 20. He looks 18. He could narc. He could narc in high school. He looks very young and he's 22. And he says you know, people often just dismiss him out of hand because he looks young, he's 22, but he's flat brilliant and he's got a good heart.
Deb Tauber:
So how would one get this course If one was interested?
Frank King:
Ah, um, probably reach out to me through my website called howtomakemoneyspeakingcom.
Deb Tauber:
Okay.
Frank King:
Now get this, Deb. I was trying to figure out a name for the website. You know a URL and my wife I work from home so she hears all the conversations, and so she goes well, why don't you just get how com. com? And I know enough. I'm thinking, yeah, that's going to be available in 2024. So I went to GoDaddy, I typed it in. Oh my God, it's available.
Frank King:
So, I have learned the hard way not to ignore any piece of advice from my wife. If she has an idea, I'm all over it, Perfect. You know she didn't know that that was almost an impossibility. At least it seemed that way. That name would be available this late date. So she didn't give a second thought about suggesting it because she didn't know. That doesn't happen, which it's a great. Like fresh eyes, Yep.
Deb Tauber:
Yep, yep, yep, I know Anything you want to ask me. Any other questions, anything you want to tell our listeners about?
Frank King:
Yes, I do have good news. After all that mortality and morbidity, I say this to the audience. When I you know, at some point I go, look, here's the good news. Let's say I've already delivered the. How do you, how do you spot depression, thoughts of suicide? No, I say then okay, here's the good news. Eight out of ten people who are suicidal are ambivalent, can't make up their mind. Nine out of ten give hints in the last week leading up to an attempt, which means you can make a difference, you can save a life, and you can do it by doing something as simple as what we're doing right here, and that is having a conversation, if you know how, and now you know how.
Deb Tauber:
Yes, we do.
Frank King:
Yep. All right, like the end of the high note with him, you know.
Deb Tauber:
Right, right. Well, thank you very much and happy simulating.
Disclaimer/ Innovative Sim Solutions/Intro:
Thanks to Innovative Sim Solutions for sponsoring this week's podcast. Innovative Sim Solutions will make your plans for your next sim center a reality. Contact Deb Tauber and her team today. Thanks for joining us here at the Sim Cafe. We hope you enjoyed. Visit us at innovativesimsolutions. com and be sure to hit that like and subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Innovative Sim Solutions is your one-stop shop for your simulation needs. A turnkey solution.